It has been said by some people that the husband is the head, and the wife is the neck. This indicates that, though the husband has the authority, the wife often influences him to make a certain decision. As they communicate and discuss plans for their family, the wife often sees things that her husband doesn’t notice. It is good for him to listen to his wife sometimes, as she may have some wise things to say. As God, Jesus and Paul said, they are one (see lesson one).
However, there may come a time when the husband and the wife don’t see things eye-to-eye. After they discuss plans for some time, if they can’t come to an agreement, then one of them has to make a decision. This is the role of the “head”, and the wife “submits”. She may have to go along with a plan that she doesn’t agree with, and may even be opposed to, but she does it cheerfully and submissively–respectfully. Then she does everything she can to help her husband to succeed in the plan. If it doesn’t work out well, the wife doesn’t say, “I told you so.” She has willingly submitted, and she genuinely wants her husband’s plan to succeed. So, if it doesn’t succeed, she comforts him, supports him, and together they look for another solution to their situation. This is true submission—humbly supporting and helping her husband. She was created to be his “helper”. In Genesis 2:18, we read:
The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”
To be a helper does not mean that she is to do all of the work in the home; they work together. She is his “helper”, not his “slave”. They are one and work together as one. In many traditional homes, the wife stays home, keeps the house, cooks the meals, and cares for the children. However, these days, many wives choose to join the work force outside the homes; the husband may even request her to do so, because he needs help providing for their needs. In such cases, husbands and wives need to sit down and discuss how they want to handle the work in the home. Some choose to hire help to do heavy cleaning and cooking; other couples share the responsibilities according to who likes, or is good at, doing certain tasks. And the two of them share in the care of the children.