CONTEXT
Does Ephesians 5:21 teach “mutual submission” such that husbands and wives are to submit to each other equally? Clarity starts with the context at three levels:
- The broadest context (served in part by the survey of this course). How does this passage fit with other passages on the same subject and the Bible as a whole?
- The closer context of the book itself. What is its theme? How does this passage fit the book’s main message?
- The immediate context surrounding the passage. What is the verse conveying in its setting?
THE MESSAGE OF EPHESIANS
Ephesians reveals God’s eternal purpose to “unite all things” in Christ (Ephesians 1:9-10; 3:8-11). This unity begins with His church in which He brings Jews and Gentiles together (Ephesians 2:11-22). The first half of the book establishes Christ as the source and power for unity. The second half shows how unity and harmony play out in practical ways. These involve leadership roles that equip for service and for doctrinal stability—“the unity of the faith” (Ephesians 4:13). They also involve roles within the family.
BE FILLED WITH THE SPIRIT
The thought leading to Ephesians 5:21 begins with the command of Ephesians 5:18, “be filled with the Spirit.” That command is developed by participles—associated verbs—for Spirit-filled activity: “speaking… singing… making melody…giving thanks…submitting” (Ephesians 5:19-21). The last participle is stated in broad terms: “…submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ” (Ephesians 5:21). At this point, it applies to every Christian who reads or hears Paul’s letter. All are speaking, singing, making melody, giving thanks and submitting to each other.
Does “submitting to one another” remove roles, especially leading roles? If so, Ephesians 4 must be redefined. It clearly states Christ’s gifts of leadership: “the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, the shepherds and teachers” (Ephesians 4:11). Must apostles relinquish their God-given, foundational role (Ephesians 2:20) by submitting to equal leadership from other members? Should shepherds give up shepherding in favor of mutual submission? Obviously, whatever Ephesians 5:21 means, it not about rejecting roles assigned by God. Instead, it is about humble, serving attitudes as shown by similar passages (Galatians 4:2; 5:13; 6:7; Philippians 2:3-5).
Likewise, you who are younger, be subject to the elders. Clothe yourselves, all of you, with humility toward one another (1 Peter 5:5 cf. 1 Peter 2:16; 4:10-11).
Notice that Peter enjoins mutual humility while also recognizing the duty of “younger” members toward “elders.” Mutuality removes neither age distinctions nor roles.
SUBMIT
In Ephesians 5, having developed the command to be Spirit-filled, Paul uses the last activity—“submitting”—to launch into a discussion of appropriate forms of submission. These include husband-wife relationships and Christ-church relationships (Ephesians 5:22-33), then parent-child relationships and master-servant relationships (Ephesians 6:1-9). Submitting to one another applies to all in every Christian situation. It also applies to God-given roles:
- Wives, submit to your own husbands as… (Ephesians 5:22).
- the church submits to Christ (Ephesians 5:24).
- Children, obey your parents (Ephesians 6:1).
- Bondservants, obey your earthly masters (Ephesians 6:5).
Some, seeking to soften the verb “submit” (Greek, hupotasso), offer “defer” as the better meaning. They suggest that wives should defer to their husbands, that is, they should be polite and agreeable. (In “mutuality,” they add, husbands should defer politely and agreeably to their wives, more or less removing any leadership role.) However, Ephesians 5:24 immediately uses the same verb about the church and Christ: “Now as the church submits (hupotasso) to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.” Is the church merely polite and agreeable with Jesus? (If mutuality applies, does Jesus defer to us and lessen His role as our leader? Does this verb suggest equality between Jesus and us?) In fact, hupotasso is used in many passages where “defer” makes no sense at all (Ephesians 1:22; Luke 10:17; Romans 8:7, 20; 10:3; 13:1, 5; 1 Corinthians 15:27-28; Philippians 3:21; Titus 2:9; 3:1; Hebrews 2:8; James 4:7; 1 Peter 2:13, 18). Most telling is the parallel passage, 1 Peter 3:1-6.
Likewise, wives, be subject (hupotasso) to your own husbands…. [Be spiritually adorned.] For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting (hupotasso) to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed (hupakouo) Abraham, calling him lord (kurios)….
HUSBANDS
Peter then goes on to instruct husbands.
Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered (1 Peter 3:7).
Ephesians 5 takes the same approach, showing husbands the Christ-like nature of their role.
For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, His body, and is Himself its Savior…. Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her, that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that He might present the church to Himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church (Ephesians 5:23, 25-29).
Yes, the husband is “head of the wife.” No, there is nothing of tyranny, oppression, rudeness or harsh abuse in that term. Just as Christ never forces us against our will, the husband is never told to “make” his wife submit. The Scripture gives her the initiative: “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord” (Ephesians 5:22). Her willing submission is made easier when her husband reflects the love, care, self-sacrifice and spiritual nurture of Christ. Ultimately, his role as head is to serve like Christ, leading his wife and children towards the Lord for their eternal salvation.