Most people have someone that they consider as their “best friend”. They like to spend time with this person, and they do many things together. However, when a person gets married, he has a new “best friend”: his spouse becomes his best friend; this is part of what it means to be “one”. No other relationship should be as close as the closeness between a husband and a wife.
Think of some things you liked to do with your best friend. Perhaps you would go to sports activities together; perhaps you would have a cup of tea in a café; perhaps you studied together or went to some event together; you probably enjoyed walking and chatting together. Whatever you used to do with your best friend, you also need to do now with your spouse, your new best friend. Doing these types of things helps to keep your friendship alive and your oneness intact.
When a person gets married, they may have to give up some friendships they formerly enjoyed—especially friendships of the opposite sex. A person must do whatever it takes to protect the oneness with his spouse. If your spouse objects to a “friend” that you have on Facebook, then you should block that friend. You don’t want to hurt your relationship with your spouse or cause them pain or to feel jealous. Protect your “best friend”. If your spouse wants to look at your phone messages, show them how to open your phone; there are no secrets between you. This is your best friend.
You may even have to give up some of your friends of the same sex. You won’t be free to spend as much time with your former friends as you did before, because you have new responsibilities, and a new friend who needs time with you. This is especially true when children are born into the family; you will need to spend even more time at home to help take care of, teach and train these little people. Don’t let outside friends pull you away from the oneness you have with your spouse.
Do whatever you need to do to guard against your spouse’s jealousy. Proverbs 6:34 says, “for jealousy arouses a husband’s fury”. He doesn’t want anyone to threaten the oneness between him and his wife. God is portrayed as a “jealous” God, Exodus 20:5, “for I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God”. Even Paul speaks of being jealous for the Corinthians with a “godly jealousy” (2 Corinthians 11:2). It is natural for a husband or wife to feel jealous when they see their spouse spending a lot of time with a person of the opposite sex. If your spouse asks you not to spend time with a certain person, honor that request; protect the oneness that you have.