Does Mary’s immense privilege reflect negatively on men? Is Joseph somehow inferior? Most of us can see that Mary’s role is simply different from Joseph’s. This is not a competition. Certainly, the angel compliments Mary most highly: “Greetings, O favored one, the Lord is with you” (Luke 1:28). Joseph is “a just man” but is not greeted in the same way (Matthew 1:19-20). Based on that, let’s suppose that Mary is more spiritual and thoughtful (Luke 1:38; 2:19, 51). Do those factors change roles in the family?
As the story unfolds, God treats Joseph as the family’s leader (Matthew 1:16, 19-25; 2:13-14, 19-23; Luke 3:23 cf. John 1:45; 6:42). Does that make Mary inferior? Again, this is not a contest. Mary and Joseph are on the same team. Joseph’s role is different from Mary’s. They complement each other. They work together to raise God’s Son (Luke 2:48-52). After a while, there is no mention of Joseph, while Mary continues, possibly as a widow (Luke 8:19; John 2:1-12; 19:25-27; Acts 1:14).
The story of Mary combines privilege and pain. Mary’s baby boy is circumcised on the eight day and given the name Jesus. The parents take Him to Jerusalem for the sacrifices required by the law of Moses. They meet the inspired man, Simeon, who blesses Mary with this warning,
This Child is appointed for the fall and rising of many in Israel, and for a sign that is opposed (and a sword will pierce through your own soul also), so that thoughts from many hearts may be revealed (Luke 2:34-35).
Mary’s joy in her unique Son turns to anguish, especially as she watches His execution (John 19:26). Many mothers share similar pain as life’s troubles assail their children—further multiplying the pain of bearing children (Genesis 3:16). This is part of the price of motherly love, suffering with the child that suffers. Fathers also suffer (2 Samuel 18:33; Mark 5:22-23). But the mother begins with a unique, literally visceral bond with her child.