What does the Bible say about conflict? Is expressing anger sinful? We can see in the life of Jesus that he expressed anger at times (John 2:14-16). He was so angry with the money changers that he drove them out of the temple. Even God expressed anger—on one occasion, He destroyed the whole world because of the sinfulness of men (Genesis 6:12-13). Let’s look at Ephesians 4:26:
In your anger do not sin. Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry.
In this passage, Paul tells us that when you are angry, don’t sin. It’s obvious that anger in and of itself is not sinful, but it can quickly lead us into sin, if we are not careful. Paul gives us one key to not letting anger lead us into sin: he says, “Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry.” This is excellent advice for husbands and wives. Try to settle whatever is between you before you go to bed at night. Problems between you should not be ignored and allowed to fester. It is like when a person steps on a thorn. They will not leave it in the foot and go to bed. They will take a needle and dig out the thorn. Why? Because they know that if they leave it in the foot, it will get worse; it will swell and become very sore, maybe even infected. But if they dig it out and clean the wound, it will heal more quickly. The same is true for problems in a marriage. If they are ignored, they will only get worse as resentment builds up in the heart of the spouses. The only way for the “wound” to heal is to discuss the problem until it is settled, and they have forgiven each other. It may be painful to talk about, but it is the only way for healing to take place.
You will quickly discover that settling a problem clears the air and binds your relationship even closer. This is an important part of “becoming one” (Genesis 2:24).
If an issue is minor, simply an annoyance, something that you don’t like about your spouse, you may be able to let it go and forget it, knowing that you can’t really change your spouse’s personality. However, if the issue troubles you so that you keep thinking about it, and it hurts your relationship with your spouse, then it’s something that needs to be dealt with. When you have registered your displeasure, then it is up to your spouse to decide how to deal with that displeasure. They may be willing to try to change, or they may try to convince you that they are behaving in a proper manner. Always be willing to let love cover the annoyance.
Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins (1 Peter 4:8).