It is such a good feeling to be appreciated. To know that others value the good things you do makes you try harder to do more good things. When a family makes it a habit to always encourage the other family members it makes that family stronger. On the other hand, when family members are always complaining and tearing each other down it lowers the self-esteem of the members, and it causes them to not try very hard to do better.
“When you talk, don’t say anything bad. But say the good things that people need—whatever will help them grow stronger. Then what you say will be a blessing to those who hear you.” (Ephesians 4:29)
Paul wrote those words to the whole church to help them remember to speak words of encouragement to make the church strong. There were families in the church, so Paul was also instructing families to not say rotten words that discourage and tear down but to speak good strong words of building each other up. It has been said that for every bad or hurtful word you say to someone it takes 9 positive words to offset that one negative word. It is so easy to say a negative hurtful word to someone. It just slips out of the mouth. Saying encouraging words takes practice. The best way to control what you say is to think before you speak. Once you have spoken the negative or rotten word you cannot get it back. The rule is, THINK BEFORE YOU SPEAK! If it were possible to put a zipper on our mouths it might help us say fewer harmful words.
The wise man said it well. In Proverbs 31:28 Solomon wrote about the perfect wife.
“Her children say good things about her. Her husband brags about her…”
The point of the verse is that the family says good things about one another. They prefer to encourage each other rather than talk about the things they don’t like. Imagine what your home would be like if you made a strong effort to often say good encouraging words to the other family members. That does not mean that you should overlook wrongs done. When a member of the family breaks a rule or does something that is not good then they should not be encouraged or praised in that bad thing. As we have read in other chapters there are rules for the family which must be obeyed and there are good ways to resolve conflicts.
“Let us think of ways to motivate one another to acts of love and good works….” (Hebrews 10:24)