These things explain why Christian wives “submit in everything to their husbands” (Ephesians 5:24). They do not submit because their husbands make perfect decisions every time. Wives do not submit because women are persons of lesser worth, lesser dignity or lesser ability. They do not submit because their husbands are more spiritual. Often the reverse is true – the wife may well be the more spiritual, the wiser and the more capable! Rather, wives submit because of the way God placed order in the family. That is why wives submit even when their husbands “do not obey the Word” (1 Peter 3:1).
Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct (1 Peter 3:1-2). M
Unbelieving husbands often act in ungodly ways – that is the nature of unbelief. Yet Peter shows the husband’s unbelief to be even more reason for a wife to develop a beautifully submissive spirit. Peter urges all wives to be like Sarah who “obeyed Abraham, calling him lord” (1 Peter 3:6).
Is there a limit,7 a line beyond which the wife should not go in submitting to her husband? Certainly, no wife should be like Sapphira who followed her husband into lying to the Holy Spirit (Acts 5:1-11). No wife helps her husband by encouraging or assisting his bad habits. She does not foolishly make herself a target for abuse. As the Scriptures continually stress, the point of proper earthly submission is not to please people, but to please Christ (Ephesians 6:7; Colossians 3:23), and to attract others to Christ (1 Peter 2:12; 3:1-6).8 Attractive women are those who “do good and do not fear anything that is frightening” (1 Peter 3:6). The worthy woman is “clothed with strength and dignity” (Proverbs 31:25). Her greatest dignity comes from her relationship with God,9 her reflection of God,10 her work with God,11 and her future glory with God as an “heir” of “the grace of life” (1 Peter 3:7).12 Since her dignity is heaven-sent and her beauty is spiritual (1 Peter 3:4), no worldly trouble can diminish her value or her virtue.
7. Research Subject – Limits of authority: Any discussion of submission should consider its limits. Many people enjoy wielding power over others, 3 John 1:9-11; 1 Kings 12:10-11. Crooked people like to claim power to get what they want, Acts 8:18-23. Satan revels in usurping power from God, Luke 4:5-7. For all these reasons, we must emphasize both the submissive spirit Jesus wants and the limits He sets. Government Authority: Acts depicts Christianity as peaceful and law-abiding, Acts 4:9-10,16-21; 5:33-39; 6:8-15; 16:27-28,35-39; 18:14-15; 23:1-9; 24:10-21; 25:8,18-19,25; 26:31 cf. Luke 23:14-22. Yet Acts also shows limits. When Jewish authorities tried to prevent preaching, Peter replied, “We must obey God rather than men” Acts 5:29; cf. 4:19. When soldiers treated Paul in illegal ways, he asserted his rights, Acts 22:25-30 cf. 16:37; 25:11. When choices are forced onto us, we keep on choosing God and His way, Revelation 17:12-18:4. The Husband’s Authority: Women are to submit to their husbands “in everything” Ephesians 5:22-24. As with any passage, “in everything” should be interpreted in its context, which includes Christ’s supreme authority “far above all rule and authority” Ephesians 1:21. Christ’s authority, therefore, is far above any husband’s. If a wife is a disciple, she places Christ far above all other relationships, Matthew 10:37-39; 16:24-25; Luke 14:26. Yet Christ as her supreme authority directs her to love and submit to her husband. Hence, “the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband” 1 Corinthians 7:34. She cannot claim to be so devoted to Christ, so preoccupied with heavenly matters, that she fails to meet her husband’s earthly needs e.g. 1 Corinthians 7:4-5. But what are the limits? What about women who suffer from violent husbands? How much abuse is too much? In some countries, laws protect women and children, and good citizens should cooperate with those good laws. Whether laws help or not, the wife also has other roles to consider. She has responsibilities to herself and to her children. The former is part of the second greatest commandment: “Love your neighbor as yourself” Mark 12:31. You should love yourself, care for yourself and protect yourself in godly ways, Luke 4:29-30; John 7:7-10; 2 Corinthians 11:32-33; Ephesians 5:29; 1 Timothy 5:23. The latter, the mother’s duty to protect her children, is part of the family principle expressed in 1 Timothy 5:8, “But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.” Parents must “provide” for the necessities of life, which certainly include food, clothing, shelter, and yes, protection from danger. Balancing the demands of different roles requires difficult decisions. But with God’s help the greater priority becomes clear. For example, an earthly ruler required Hebrews to let their male newborns be killed. Amram and Jochebed knew their parental duty. So they chose to obey God’s priority, doing what they could to save their baby, Moses, Exodus 2:1-9; 6:20; Hebrews 11:23. Their own effort seemed feeble, even futile. But God intervened, which reminds us He is always present to bring blessings out of our worst circumstances. As another example, consider the wisdom of Abigail, 1 Samuel 25:3-35. Church Authority: “You were bought with a price,” Paul told Corinthians, “do not become bondservants of men,” 1 Corinthians 7:23. Some Corinthians, for example, tended to be overly impressed by important-sounding people, 1 Corinthians 1:12; 3:4. Others took advantage of this weakness and led Corinthian members astray, 2 Corinthians 11:4,20. Some Colossians thought ‘humility’ meant worshiping angels. They thought ‘submit’ meant following wise-sounding religious rules, Colossians 2:16-23. But Paul corrected such foolish notions. Submit to true servants of Christ, 1 Corinthians 16:15-16; Hebrews 13:17, but not to ‘leaders’ who badly overreach their authority or mislead into deadly error, Mark 7:6-13; Ephesians 4:14; 6:6; Galatians 1:10; 2:1-14; 1 John 4:1. See Segment “Fathers And Children” Note 6. Meekness does not mean weakness, 2 Corinthians 11:21; Ephesians 6:10,13. Submission does not mean stupidity, Ephesians 5:17. God promises to give you the wisdom you need for all of life’s challenges, James 1:5; Proverbs 2:1-6.
8. 1 Thessalonians 4:11-12; 1 Timothy 6:1; 5:14; Titus 2:5,8; 3:1
9. Galatians 3:27-29; Ephesians 1:3-6
10. Genesis 1:27,31; Ephesians 4:24; 2 Corinthians 5:17
11. Research Subject – Women as workers with God: Old Testament: Genesis 3:15; 4:1; Exodus 15:20; 38:8; 35:22; Deuteronomy 31:12; Joshua 8:35; Judges 4:4-5; 13:23-24; Ruth 1:16; 1 Samuel 1:10-11; 2:22; Psalm 22:9; 139:13; Proverbs 1:8; 6:20; 18:22; 19:13; 31:1-31; 1 Kings 17:8-24; 2 Kings 4:8-38; 22:14-20; Esther 4:15-17; Isaiah 8:3 New Testament: Matthew 15:25-28; 27:55; Mark 12:41-42; 14:3-9; 16:1-11; Luke 1:6,13; 26-38; 2:37-38; 8:2-3; 10:38-42; 23:27; John 2:5; 4:28-29,39; 20:1-18; Acts 1:14; 2:17; 8:3,12; 9:36; 12:12-13; 16:14-15; 17:4,12; 18:25-26; 21:9; 22:4; Romans 16:1-4,6,12-13,15; 1 Corinthians 7:3,34; 11:5,8; 14:34-37; Galatians 4;4; Ephesians 5:22-33; Philippians 4:2-3; 1 Timothy 2:10,15; 3:11; 5:2-10,14,16; 2 Timothy 1:5; 3:15; Titus 2:3-5; Hebrews 11:35; 1 Peter 3:1-7. See Segment “Fathers And Children” Note 21.
12. Note that heaven will not have male and female roles, but all of us will be like the angels, Luke 20:34-36.
Picture: Statues of six beautiful women (Caryatids) supported the Erechtheion, a 2400 year old temple in Athens. The best beauty is not in flesh or stone but in spirit.