The submissive family pays special attention to Ephesians 6:1-4.
Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise), “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.” Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.
Here is another warning to men. Do you think Paul might see a common problem that needs to be corrected? The man can easily use his size, strength and authority to terrorize his family. In the privacy of the home, who can oppose him? Who else sees the harm he inflicts by word and by fist? Even a well-meaning father may “exasperate” – provoke to anger, frustrate – his children by demanding adult thinking while they are still too young. When too much is forced on children, they may “become discouraged” (Colossians 3:21). They may grow up to reject the father’s religion, blaming it for his overly strict, unfair or cruel ways.
On the other hand, the father who learns how to help children, who spends time with them to mold and shape their hearts, such a father truly submits to Christ! When he disciplines in a helpful way, he imitates God the Father.20 In many families women do all the child-raising.21 But in God’s family, the responsibility, “bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord” is a command to “fathers” (Ephesians 6:4).22 Far from sitting back and watching mothers do it all, fathers take the lead in this matter of loving service also. Watching and benefiting from their father, the children learn to love and to submit. They honor and obey their parents.23 Later, when they grow up, their submissive attitude leads them to enter Christ through the new birth.24
The discussion of roles should go further. We should consider, for example, what submission means for leaders and followers in a local church of Christ.25 The roles seen so far show the principles involved. True Christianity always makes us more caring, more helpful, more respectful, more obedient to those in proper authority over us. Anyone who teaches differently is “puffed up with conceit and understands nothing” (1 Timothy 6:4). Anyone who appeals to “false humility” and imposes improper, harsh rules is “not holding fast to the Head” (Colossians 2:18-23). Anyone who “loves to be first” in the arrogant manner of Diotrephes (3 John 1:9-11) is not a spiritual leader. Our submission is to Christ first and foremost. From Him we learn to whom we owe honor and submission. From Him we learn what submission means, and what it does not mean. Through Him we look forward to the promise that “whoever humbles himself will be exalted” (Matthew 23:12).
Likewise, you who are younger, be subject to the elders. Clothe yourselves, all of you, with humility toward one another, for “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.” Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you… (1 Peter 5:5-6).26 M
CHRIST IN YOU CLOTHES YOU WITH HUMILITY TOWARD OTHERS!
20. Research Subject – Discipline for children: Hebrews 12:5-11 cf. 1 Timothy 3:4,12; Titus 1:6; Proverbs 13:24; 15:5,20; 19:18; 22:6,15; 23:13-14; 29:15,17
21. Research Subject – Mother’s role: 1 Corinthians 11:12; 1 Thessalonians 2:7; 1 Timothy 2:15; 5:10,14; 2 Timothy 1:5; Titus 2:4-5 cf. Matthew 1:23; 2:11; 20:20; Luke 2:33-52; John 2:1-5; 19:26; Genesis 3:20; 17:19; Exodus 2:1-9; Deuteronomy 21:18; Judges 14:3; 1 Samuel 1:27-28; Psalm 22:9-10; 131:2; Proverbs 1:8; 4:3; 6:20; 31:1,15-28; Song of Solomon 8:1-2; Isaiah 49:15; 66:13
22. Research Subject – Fathers lead children: Genesis 6:18; 17:4; 18:19; 22:1-18; Psalm 22:5; 44:1; 78:3; 103:13; Proverbs 1:8; 3:12; 4:1-4; 6:20; 13:1; 15:5; 23:22; Malachi 4:6
23. Research Subject – Honor, obey parents: Ephesians 6:1-3; Colossians 3:20; Exodus 20:12; 21:15,17; Leviticus 19:3; 20:9; Proverbs 20:20; 23:22-25; 28:24; 30:11,17; Malachi 1:6; Matthew 15:4; 19:19; Mark 7:10-13; 10:19; 13:12; Luke 2:51; Romans 1:30; 1 Timothy 5:4; 3:2; 2 Timothy 3:2 cf. Matthew 10:37; 12:46-50; Luke 18:29; John 2:4
24. Matthew 5:3; 18:3-4; Mark 10:15; John 3:3-5
25. Research Subject – Church Leadership: Christ is the church’s one Leader, Ephesians 1:20-23; 4:5; 5:23; Matthew 23:8; John 10:16; 1 Peter 5:4. He has all authority, Matthew 28:18-20. Any leader He appoints has two basic tasks: 1. to follow Christ’s will; 2. to see that others follow Christ’s will. The second task explains the term “overseers,” Acts 20:28; Philippians 1:1; 1 Timothy 3:1-2; Titus 1:7; 1 Peter 5:2, which is the term used for qualified and appointed leaders, 1 Timothy 3:1-7 cf. Titus 1:5-9, in all fully organized congregations of Christ, Acts 14:23; Titus 1:5; 1 Peter 5:2. “Overseers” are also descriptively called “elders,” Acts 11:30; 14:23; 15:2-6; 20:17; 21:18; 1 Timothy 4:14; 5:17,19; Titus 1:5-6; James 5:14; 1 Peter 5:1 cf. Exodus 3:16; 24:9-10; Revelation 4:4, and “pastors” which means “shepherds,” Acts 20:28; Ephesians 4:11; 1 Peter 5:2. Their appointed helpers are “deacons” (meaning “servants”) 1 Timothy 3:8-13; Philippians 1:1 cf. Acts 6:1-7. Other leaders include evangelists, Ephesians 4:11; Acts 21:8; 2 Timothy 4:5, and – especially in newly developing congregations – “those who labor among you and are over you in the Lord” 1 Thessalonians 5:12 cf. 1 Corinthians 16:15-19. Scripture commands members to cooperate with godly leaders. “Obey your leaders and submit to them, for they are keeping watch over your souls, as those who will have to give an account. Let them do this with joy and not with groaning, for that would be of no advantage to you,” Hebrews 13:17. Obey them in all that Christ specifically commands. Cooperate also in matters of how to fulfill His general commands e.g. when and where to meet as a congregation. Overseers, as those “who rule,” 1 Timothy 5:17, and deacons who share “responsibility,” Acts 6:3, obviously play key roles in such general congregational decisions. Cooperative members help the unity and growth that are clearly the will of Christ. When we submit to godly leaders we in fact submit to the Lord they follow. When we resist public error, even in recognized leaders, 1 Timothy 5:19-21; Galatians 2:11-14; 3 John 1:9-11, we remind the whole church that our real submission is to Christ, Acts 3:22-23; 10:36; Philippians 2:10. Paul states the basic principle of Christian leadership in 1 Corinthians 11:1, “Be imitators of me, as I am of Christ.” See “Wives of Unbelieving Husbands” Note 7.
26. Peter quoted from Proverbs 3:34.
Research Subjects
- Limits of authority
- Women as workers with God
- Forgive
- Discipline for children
- Mother’s role
- Father’s lead children
- Honor, obey parents
- Church leadership
In Christ, all are to submit to one another. Wives submit to their husbands, not because husbands are better, but because God has so arranged the family. Husbands also must submit. They obey Christ as their Head, and so love their wives “as Christ loved the church.” Imitating Christ’s sacrifice, a husband puts his wife’s needs above his own, no matter what kind of wife she is. A godly marriage reflects the relationship of Christ to His church. Fathers should not anger their children through harsh rules and treatment. Instead, fathers (with mothers) train up their children in the Lord’s way. Children learn to honor and obey their parents, especially when they see in their fathers the example of submission to God. All these forms of submission place God first as the true Father.
Memory Verses
- Ephesians 5:22-24 – Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.
- 1 Corinthians 14:37 – If anyone thinks that he is a prophet, or spiritual, he should acknowledge that the things I am writing to you are a command of the Lord.
- 1 Peter 3:1-2 – Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct.
- Luke 12:48 – …from him to whom they entrusted much, they will demand the more.
- 1 Peter 3:7 – Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.
- 1 Peter 5:5-6 – Likewise, you who are younger, be subject to the elders. Clothe yourselves, all of you, with humility toward one another, for “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.” Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you…
Heavenly Father, You have arranged for us to submit to You through our earthy roles. Let me always glorify You with a humble attitude. Make me an example of submission to You.
For husbands: Help me to love my wife as You love the church. Even when she is far from perfect, let me be patient and kind…
For wives: Help me to submit to my husband as the head of our family. Show me how to respect him and meet his needs, as my way to honor You…
For fathers: Make me an example of submission to You. Show me how to raise my children with kindness and firmness, so that they learn to love and honor You…
Picture: Models of a royal family.