- One on one! When you have done wrong to someone, you should go straight to that person to tell him what you did. I find it very hard to admit my mistakes, do you? I also find it hard to tell a person that I did them wrong. So often we want to send someone to go to that person for us. It’s less painful that way. It is also less healing. To confess shows strength.
- Be specific. Don’t talk about other things or about someone else to try to side-step the issue. After you have gone directly to the person you wronged, tell him or her exactly what you did. Say, “I lied about you” or “I made fun of you” or “I cheated on you.” Be open and honest.
- Don’t use the little words “if” or “but” or “maybe.” We like to lessen the effect of our wrongs. We want to make it seem like it wasn’t really so bad. We do that by saying things like I lied about you, but if you had not said something bad about me, I wouldn’t have lied. Or perhaps we say, If I did you wrong forgive me. We should not add these kinds of words when we confess our sins.
- Apologize sincerely. It is not an apology if you simply mention it as you pass a person. If you seem distracted by your phone or your newspaper while you apologize, then your apology won’t seem to be authentic. Let the person see and hear that you are very sincere by saying something like, “I know that I hurt you and I am sorry.” Look him/her straight in the eyes and admit your fault.
- Consequences. When a person confesses their sin, they should realize that there could be consequences. For example, if I steal your watch but then confess that I did it, it could mean I am reported to the authorities. I may confess the sin of fornication, but the consequences may still mean that I get AIDS. So, is it necessary to confess? If you feel the weight of the sin you committed, then you must confess. An Olympic athlete confessed that she used drugs to win her medals. Her medals were taken away from her. But she had peace in her heart. Of course, we must always confess our sins to God because He knows every sin we do.
- Change behavior. Confession automatically means that you are agreeing to stop doing the sin you had done. If there is no change in your behavior, then you have not confessed in a godly way.
- Forgiveness. After going through all these steps, ask for forgiveness. Say simply, “Please forgive me.”
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