Church troubles and splits often have more to do with bad attitudes than bad doctrines. Proud, stubborn members need to hear again the Lord’s call to make “every effort” for unity and peace.8
… with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace (Ephesians 4:2-3). M
When personalities clash, be the first to humble yourself. Apologize for your part in the conflict. Take the initiative to build bridges of reconciliation.
What if someone seriously hurts or wrongs you? Be kind, even to enemies.9 Like Stephen, imitate the crucified Jesus who prayed for His killers (Luke 23:34; Acts 7:60). Remember Colossians 3:13, “…if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other.” 10 “And walk in love, as Christ loved us…” (Ephesians 5:2). If you follow Christ’s footsteps,11 you will leave all vengeance to God.12
When he was reviled, he did not revile in return; when he suffered, he did not threaten, but continued entrusting himself to him who judges justly (1 Peter 2:23). M
8. Research Subject – Peace among brothers: Matthew 5:9,24; Mark 9:50; Luke 2:24; 12:58; John 17:23; Romans 12:16,18; 14:17,19; 15:5,33; 1 Corinthians 1:10; 7:15; 14:33; 2 Corinthians 13:11; Ephesians 2:14-17; 4:3; 6:15,23; Philippians 1:27; 2:1; 4:2; Colossians 2:2; 3:15; 1 Thessalonians 5:13; 2 Thessalonians 3:16; 1 Timothy 2:2; Titus 3:2; Hebrews 12:14,16; 13:1; James 3:17-18; 1 Peter 3:8,11 cf. Genesis 13:8; Psalm 133:1; Amos 3:3; Acts 7:26; Romans 3:17; 1 Corinthians 7:11
9. Matthew 5:44-48; Luke 6:27-38; Romans 12:17-21; 1 Thessalonians 5:15; 2 Timothy 2:24-25
10. Paul does not say “grievances you may have had,” as though complaints had already been dealt with, freeing you to forgive. Rather he says, Research Subject – “forgive whatever grievances you may have,” Colossians 3:13, which suggests that problems may still exist. See similar implications, and the danger in not forgiving, in Mark 11:25; Matthew 6:14-15; 18:21-35; 6:12,14; Luke 6:37-38; 11:4; Proverbs 19:11. Bitterness, resentment and lasting anger are not Christ-like attitudes, Romans 12:19-21; Ephesians 4:31; Colossians 3:8,19; James 3:14; 1 Peter 2:21-23; 4:8. A kind, forgiving spirit, however, removes neither the need to restore relations, Matthew 5:23-24; 18:15-22; Luke 17:3-4; Galatians 6:1, nor the need to confront public sin, Galatians 2:11; 1 Timothy 5:20, and to discipline obvious rebellion, 1 Corinthians 5:1-13; 2 Thessalonians 3:10-15. See The Submissive Family (Part 2), segment Remember the Meaning of Love, Note 1.
12. Matthew 5:38-41; Romans 12:14,19-21; Proverbs 20:22; 24:29 cf. Genesis 50:19; 1 Samuel 24:8-12